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By LegalMatters Staff • People granted overnight parenting time after a separation or divorce want to make the most of their time with their children. That starts with careful planning, says Edmonton family lawyer Peter Ewanchuk.
“Before the children arrive, think about sleeping arrangements,” he says. “Separate bedrooms are ideal but younger siblings can share a room. Make sure you have age-appropriate beds that are comfortable as well as clean linens and enough pillows.”
Ewanchuk says making an effort to decorate the children’s room will pay dividends but be sure to get their input first.
“Have them involved in the decorating so they will feel like it is ‘their’ room,” he says. “For younger children, hanging up a few posters of their favourite animated characters might do the trick.”
If the children are accustomed to having favourite toys or a special blanket at night, have that sent over, Ewanchuk says.
“They may be nervous about sleeping at your house, so the more you can make it seem normal, the better,” he says.
Ewanchuk says having appropriate food on hand is essential, balancing items they like with healthy options.
“If children are accustomed to starting each day off with a particular cereal, buy that, while keeping in mind they may appreciate getting a special breakfast on the weekends,” he advises.
During the visit, Ewanchuk says it is wise to avoid any discussion of the other partner.
“The children are already in a difficult spot because they are caught in the middle, so focus on the positive,” he says. “Do not ask them a question such as, ‘Is Mom/Dad seeing someone?’ Respect your ex-partner’s privacy and do not turn your children into informants.”
Ewanchuk says it is important to make sure the children complete any homework or school projects that need to be done.
“Your children will appreciate assistance with the work and it can also be a valuable bonding exercise,” he says. “You do not want the other parent to tell the teacher the homework was not done because the children were staying at your home.”
The night should end with a consistent bedtime routine, Ewanchuk says, that might include a snack, brushing teeth, putting on pyjamas and reading a book.
“These activities should always be done in the same order, culminating in lights out at an established time,” he says.
