My spouse has asked for a divorce. How do I handle that?

By LegalMatters Staff • Some people are caught by surprise when their spouse announces they want a divorce and may not know what to do next.

Edmonton family lawyer Jaskiran Bajwa regularly deals with people in this situation and says staying calm is important.

“Getting angry will not help the situation,” she says. “You both may be highly emotional so don’t say or do things that you will regret later, especially if your divorce ends up in front of the court.”

Bajwa advises people to confide in trusted friends and close family members about their situation, warning against venting on social media.

“If you have children, put them first,” she advises. “Avoid having heated conversations in their presence or disparaging your spouse or their parenting ability.”

Once the divorce proceeding is in motion the children will need to be told, says Bajwa.

“That will probably not be an easy conversation to have,” she says. “Ideally, both parents should tell the child about the divorce together, without assigning blame or making your children feel like they need to choose between parents.”

Bajwa says both sides should meet with a family lawyer to guide them through the divorce process and make important decisions concerning parenting issues, property and financial support.

“It is critically important that you obtain legal advice very early in the process, before taking any drastic steps, as those steps could result in prejudice to your ultimate position,” she explains.