Think twice before sending your ex a text in a child custody case

By LegalMatters Staff • Texting is one of our primary and preferred methods of communication but like everything else, there is a time and a place for it.

While the speed and convenience of a text is one of its biggest advantages, it can also present problems if you send messages when you are angry or upset. That can create more issues if you are in the middle of a contentious child custody case.

“These texts can lead to heated arguments,” says Edmonton family lawyer Graeme Kluge. “Even a message with no malicious intention can be taken out of context.”

There can be many issues to resolve a divorce, especially when it comes to family access rights and sending a text can help make life a little easier if you don’t want to speak with your ex face-to-face or on the phone, he says.

However, Kluge says texts should be used “with the greatest of care.”

May be easier to cross the line of common courtesy

“It is not uncommon for messages to escalate into abusive or aggressive language,” he says. “Because you are not facing the person you are messaging it may be easier to cross the line of common courtesy, especially if you are upset.

“Without realizing it, the text you sent your former partner in the heat of the moment could be used to assail your character. There is also the chance you could disclose something you didn’t intend that weakens your case, Kluge adds. “And texts not only have the potential to hurt you in court, but they could also damage your relationship with your children if they happen to see the angry messages directed at their parent.”

He says If you need to text and have doubts about your message, put your phone away and reassess what you have written later. 

“Avoid sending impulsive messages. Be civil, if only for your own sake,” Kluge says. “You may feel hurt or betrayed by your ex. But remember, while you don’t have to like your former partner you should try to be respectful.”